Quotes list

"You can sit anywhere you want, it's like Southwest Airlines."
Mr. Nomura

"This is math class. Not fun class."
Walter Ray

"That chair spends most of its life messed up because people come and mess up with it."
O'Sully

"I understand why girls never want to tie their own bikinis."
Nick Aldredge

"It's a digital clock, but it's still ticking."
Mr. Nomura

"You go write pornos, I'm gonna drop this class."
Anna Ludwig

"I'd like you to listen even if your initials could stand for American Pie."
Mr. Nomura

"If somebody says to you 'when you're out in the real world...' well, you should probably listen to them because what they have to say is important. But then LAUGH."
Mike Shope (Post advisor)

"I'd like you to listen even if your initials could be the postal code for Nebraska."
Mr. Nomura

"Speaking of parent functions, did you know we have open house coming up soon?"
Mr. Nomura

"I'm going to do what I can to really destroy your soul."
Mr. Louvre

"That's not quite grippa."
Mr. Nomura

"You know I don't like Asian kids."
Mr. Louvre

Ms. Fried: I should hear the sound of writing.
Keejaa Ramgotra: There is no sound of writing.
Ms. Fried: Exactly.

"Remember, if you sit on the ground, it's like trying to heat the whole world with your butt. It just doesn't work."
Heidi Rodenhizer

"You don't need to come up with a thesis that says, 'Alan Lightman is RASCIST!!!...for the following 3 reasons.'"
Mr. Louvre

Keejaa Ramgotra: Can you talk a little slower?
Mr. Louvre: No, but thanks for asking.

"Wow, there's like grippa people wanna see this one."
Mr. Nomura

"That's why they're paying Mr. Nomura the big bucks here."
Mr. Nomura

"Hella's like when everyone raises their hand."
Mr. Nomura

"I'd like you to listen even if you have the same name as a Disney character but spelled differently."
Mr. Nomura

"Let's not do that anymore or Mr. Nomura reserves the right to embarass you."
Mr. Nomura

"I'm dangerous in shoe stores."
Nick Aldredge

"She's caveophilic."
Andrew Kennard

"This is a class with a lot of problems."
Mr. Nomura

Victor: Don't you get money if you go to a blood bank?
Darren: No, that's a sperm bank.

"We can do cereal mascots, not serial killers."
Mr. Nomura

"We should just make up an offense and be like "Carl didn't actually sodomize a pole, did he?' "
Andrew Kennard

"We got some gems. Like Rippe and Cram."
Darren Veit

"All opposed say 'hippo'!"
Sarah McNabb

"If you can use the word 'mollifluous', do it. Because it's awesome."
Mr. Lovre

"It's just like learning a foreign language--this is the irregular verb tense of band."
Jeff Gary on the fight song

"Cholera is transient. Only the Buddha is eternal."
Walter Ray

"Now you can say things are hecta tight because it's 100 times as cool."
Mr. Knapton

" 'Captain Brannigan, we're reached the point of infinite discontinuity.'
'Excellent, fire the phasers.' "
Walter Ray

"And then they went to the United States...on jet skis!"
Mr. Lovre

"I wish I still had that denim Bible...but I burned it in high school."
Mr. Lovre

"Oh my goodness, you broke the shame meter!"
Mr. Nomura

"My dog hasn't done anything. I mean, no one's shot each other yet."
Mr. Truax

"Just get on YouTube and look up 'prison thriller' and you'll see what I'm talking about."
Mr. Sodano

Anna Ludwig: You people all suck.
Ms. Fried: Anna, stay positive!
Amanda Montoya: You suck really good!

"Hickeys on your neck? I can't do nothing about that."
THII

Mr. Sodano: You in the back, what are you doing?
Jeff Gary: We're having a casual conversation.

"You look like you're Darth Sideous using the force lightning."
Alex W to Amanda

"I was supposed to turn this in but I drew a devil on it and lost it."
Anna Ludwig

"Some people are obviously more agressive than others. I live next to one of them."
Mr. Truax

"I know, but we don't want naked boys."
Ms. Engstrom

"As long as nobody's hips flexed involuntarily, we're ok."
Mr. Lovre

"That was very acceptable."
Mr. Sodano

"Despite being seven feet tall, I ate spaghetti. That's a complex sentence."
Mr. Lovre

"Mr. Nomura, my homework blew out the window."
Cory Hargus

"Dr. Casey goes to search you at the dance, you turn around and punch her in the face."
Mr. Truax, on how violence is not the answer

"If anyone asks what you did at school today, tell them you spend an hour and 40 minutes discussing the occult relation between man and vegetable.

In a windowless room.

Naked."
Mr. Lovre

"It's Keejaa's Death Show today."
Mr. Lovre

While discussing Moby-Dick--
Sub: Ah, but who is the real victim?
Matt Bateman: The reader.

While discussing what we did over Thanksgiving break--
Ben Hamaji: I watched the Apple Cup.
Mr. Truax: You know what? No one in Texas cares!

Mr. Truax: Aren't they all like Neanderthals?
Stefan: Well, they kept touching me.

"We used to strip and wax floors."
Mr. Truax

"This is gonna suck--and I'll come back to this in a minute--but this is gonna suck...us into a war with Mexico."
Mr. Truax

Mr. Nomura: Alright, so you have a boat...do you guys know Jane Zanzig?
Class: Yeah.
Mr. Nomura: Alright, Jane is in a boat...

"Stop saying 'It's what's for dinner!' That's retarded!"
Mr. Sodano

Mr. Sodano: I'm going through puberty a second time.
Jeff Gary: Are you sure it's not the first time?

"Watch out for the gay because it'll catch you. And then you'll be in for a life of misery and political opression."
Mr. Lovre

"Don't tell me when there's disco dancing in my room. I know."
Mr. Lovre

"Remember, there's no wrong answers in poetry. Unless of course, your answer is wrong."
Mr. Lovre

Olivia Spenser: ...and then he got gangrene and died.
Mr. Sodano: Really? That malkes that whole story even better.

"If you want me to guess your weight I can do so within 5 pounds."
Mr. Johnson

"Don't talk bad about Oprah - that's grounds for fighting."
Ms. Sloan

"So yeah, I have been schooled of sorts."
Mr. Savoie

"Carl, remember, you've been replaced and this is a perfect example of why. Ooh, is that two burns in one day?"
Ms. Cram

"I'm now in an excited state. If I was an electron I'd give off light."
Mr. Johnson after jumping onto a desk

"We got to shoot skeet."
"Actually, I was able to hit it."
"Men are more interested in shooting skeet."
Mr. Truax

"Middle school is like PMS for three years."
Ms. Taylor

Mr. Sodano: If one of you started talking during the concert, I'd kill myself on stage.
Olivia Spenser: How would you do that?
Mr. Sodano: I'd take your flute and jam it through my head. In one ear and out the other.

Some person: Mr. Johnson, you're acting like Mr. Truax
Another person: Yeah Mr. Johnson. Where's your banana?
Mr. Johnson: Literally or figuratively?

"To say it's cool to be ghetto is like saying you want to get raped."
Mr. Truax

"You say potato, I say spud."
Mr. Lovre

"Don't try this at home."
Mr. Nomura

Truax: When you're 25 years old and hanging out with your friends, what do you get to say?
Isabel Perez: Derogatory terms?

"Ok, we're firing a projectile straight up...that doesn't seem like a good idea."
Mr. Nomura

"Excuse me, does anyone know how to get past the YouTube block?"
Mr. Sodano

Truax: If you're not careful about what you say, what can happen?
Jennifer: You get shot.

"I have to get my noodle out and whack some people. Like maybe Jonas Meyers right on the head."
Mr. Nomura

"You go too far east and no one will understand you when you say hella."
Mr. Swarner

"There might be drug dealers in your living room. They might be your parents."
Mr. Truax

"You're getting hit in the noodle with the noodle."
Mr. Nomura, while brandishing a foam noodle

Mr. Knapton: I didn't go to prom.
Cece Johnson: Aww...why not?
Mr. Knapton: I didn't want to...and I didn't have a date.

"That's more Fremont, that's not Wallingford."
Mr. Truax, regarding the store High Maintanence Bitch

"That's like saying I'm manly enough to sleep with men."
Ben Miller

"It turned out he'd been raping his kids and stuff like that..."
Mr. Truax

"I'd like you to stop talking or you might meet the same fate as some of Henry VIII's wives."
Mr. Nomura

Truax: You know what works really well in Somalia despite the fact that no one's running the place?
Class: What...?
Truax: Cell phones.

"Please wear something more appropriate than tank tops and ski masks."
Thomas J. Knapton

"You just broadsworded me, man."
Mr. Sodano

"How much pil could a pilchuk chuck if a pilchuk could chuck pil?"
Mr. Swarner

"If Rachel and Walter got married then Rachel could be like a professional chef on TV."
Mr. Nomura

Veronica Galvin: Zubin, you're bike staff on Lopez.
Zubin Hensler: Wait, I don't have a bike. Is that a problem?

Nomura: What can I threaten you with? How about excommunuication by the pope?
Walter Ray: You know the pope?
Nomura: Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.

Ben Miller: Why don't I research moral relativism?
Mr. Swarner: You're just going to get a picture of me.

Mike Shope: What's our vision?
Addis Goldman: Insert corny organization slogan here.
Mike Shope: Yes, exactly!

"That's uber-ridiculous."
Mr. Sodano

While playing the Indiana Jones theme--
Olivia Spenser: Mr. Sodano, can you conduct with a whip?
Mr. Sodano: Yeah, just throw some snakes at me.

"Wait, am I a clarinet?"
David Gary, while playing the bassoon

"Also, some of my best friends are sand."
Walter Ray

"That's like celebrating mad cow disease."
Mr. Carpenter

"When I saw them last, they were clothed."
Ms. Engstrom

"You know what I need it like an electricity gun. I'd just start shocking you guys."
Mr. Sodano

"Pete and Repeat fell out of a boat, whatever."
Mr. Sodano

"I'm just saying, if it weren't for females, there wouldn't be a male dominated world."
Walter Ray

"45--4 measures after 40."
Mr. Sodano

"I'm a bitch, ok?"
Ms. Engstrom

"I think my eyes are bleeding from that one, that's good."
Mr. Sodano

"Tell him to shut up! Hit him on the nose like a puppy!"
Mr. Lovre

"This part of the song makes you feel high, like roofies."
Mr. Sodano

"Oh! Our productivity is down to 7.6! We're lower than the US dollar! The yen is gaining on us!"
Mike Shope, during a moitivational speech

Sodano: Holy crap, dude, that's the snare drum you just killed.
Olivia Spenser: Somebody do an autopsy on the snare drum.

"That's right, I said francophile, I'll say it again."
Mr. Lovre

"Were there a bunch of atheist armies running around Europe slaughtering each other in the name of God?"
Mr. Truax

"Yesterday you were like Superman. Now you're like Superman with kryptonite."
Mr. Sodano

"The best way to avoid an avalanche is to start an avalanche."
Addis Goldman

"Can you drink a big glass of shut the hell up for a while?"
Mr. Sodano

"I already make good decisions--I go home and smoke weed."
Michael Peila

"Let's add the people who have the death triplets."
Mr. Sodano

Sarah McNabb: How did you get these? You just asked for them?
Mike Shope: I'm cute, yeah.

Darren Veit: Could you clarify if that's Fahrenheit or Celsius?
Veronica Galvin: It's an angle.

Sodano: You're going to get coal in your stocking!
Eli Z: I'm Jewish.

"Life is ridiculous, Mr. Knutzen. That's what's ridiculous."
Mike Shope

"You're living out in podunk nowhere Montana..."
Mr. Truax

"Do you ever buy bread? Good bread, not Spongebob bread."
Mr. Truax

"They stabbed you in the back, man. Somebody stabbed you in the back."
Mr. Sodano

While not strictly a quote, I feel that this merits inclusion...

Ten Degrees of Noncomprehension in Mr. Nomura's Class (from the day when everyone in the entire class failed to do every single problem on the homework)

1. hella
2. grippa
3. snapa
4. hexa
5. octa
6. hellza
7. shasta
8. vista
9. babushka
10. uber


"It's always important to play tuning before you play Tupac."
Mr. Sodano

"Are there situations when you have to do a bad thing, like kill somebody...yes!"
Mike Shope

"And the last player from Garfield is Ronald McDonald, scoring no points in any games..."
Mr. Sodano

"Holy schmoley, is that a fuji?"
Mr. Truax

"I'm an anti-playa."
Mr. Lovre

"Is there something illegal about undressing mannequins in stores?"
Anna Ludwig

"My acting skills are exemplary of something other than good acting."
Matt Bateman

"I'll hire someone to rape you and you'll be like, 'Damn that was good!' "
Amanda Montoya

"People don't like feeling like a peon."
Mr. Truax

"Darren, stop playing with yourself."
Ms. Engstrom

"There was this period when I was in middle school when I used to see gorillas out of the corner of my eye all the time."
Walter Ray

"Who the heck is some guy in a podunk counry in Africa going to say about it?"
Mr. Truax

"Suck my lance."
Matt Bateman

"I definitely don't connect underwear with hilarious. I connect it with something...different."
Phillip Bruckhardt

Walter Ray: Did you know that Washington DC has more escort agencies than McDonalds?
Matt Bateman: How many escort agencies does McDonalds have?

Stefan Moedritzer: Are those bottle rockets?
Ben Miller: Sparklers.
Stefan Moedritzer: We'll talk later.

"I came from Ms. Cram's class due to a strong personality conflict."
Tommy Flemming

"You guys are like gang-banging my Doritos."
Jeff Gary

"That's an eye, right? Good, cuz it's an ugly vagina."
Anna Ludwig

"...if she wan't quite so blonde and...coeddish."
Mr. Truax

Amanda Montoya: So I can't do a dildo, but I can love a penis?
Anna Ludwig: Right.

"Dig down deep in your nasal passages."
Carol Brown

Mr. Gilbert: So you guys are minors, your parents control pretty much every aspect of your lives...
Anna Ludwig: Oh, I thought you meant people who work in mines!

"We need to feed our preganant bodies because they have a forum in them."
Carol Brown

"I like smoking pot, ok?"
Ms. Engstrom

"I don't think Satan is a notary public."
Walter Ray

"If you can't respect Nordstrom property by not unhooking mannequin bras then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Anna Ludwig

"We've got our tentacles in the middle of China."
Mr. Truax

"Yes, you've independantly discovered the forte-piano."
Mr. Sodano

Stefan Moedritzer: Addis has porn on his phone.
Addis Goldman: Yeah, Ms. Engstom, you wanna see?
Ms. Engstom: Sure.

"Do you think it's bad that I have a lighter next to a box of firecrackers in my bag?"
Anna Ludwig

"Halla-freakin'-lula, man."
Mr. Lovre

"NO, NO I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM NAKED!"
Ms. Engstrom

"It's the Evil Empire of Florida."
Mr. Truax

"I'd like you to be quiet even if you're talking."
Mr. Nomura

"I just...I hate when they get naked!"
Sasha Parsley

"That seems like on oddly labor-intensive projectile..."
Mr. Lovre on burritos

"I'm sure you guys have heard of alcohol before..."
Mr. Knapton

"There are neighbors out there who get into neighbor wars."
Mr. Truax

"It's a mix between a strip show and...political commentary."
Mr. Truax

"Yeah he's looking at the view--he's checking me out!"
Mr. Truax

Truax: What happened to the League of Nations in the Treaty of Versailles?
Neil Eddington: It got created?

"...and I think back whimsically to my childhood..."
Mr. Truax

"Did anybody see what happened to Boeing over the weekend? They got the shaft."
Mr. Truax

"This obviously kills Europe."
Mr. Truax

"It was a free willy-nilly before that."
Mr. Truax on banks

"What does a heart mean? Oh, you're breaking up with me? Again?"
Mr. Lovre

"Only two minutes until we start taking off our underwear...I mean, debriefing."
Mr. Lovre

"Later, I'll be singing snippets of annoying songs for you to carry around all day, starting with 'You Are My Sunshine'."
Mr. Lovre

"I won't have you pulling out your eyeballs in class."
Mr. Lovre

"I just spelled out part of the word 'methodology' on my pants."
Mr. Lovre

Lovre: We've covered the first line. What else is there?
Matt Bateman: The second line?

"Anybody else have any textile questions I can answer right now?"
Mr. Lovre

"Speaking of screwing a grapefruit..."
Ms. Engstrom

"We got a Colgate man over here. I'm a Crest man. I don't touch Colgate."
Mr. Truax

"I'm not attracted to men, but Virgible..."
Mr. Lovre

"Let's all do the symbols and then go back and get uncomfortable together."
Mr. Lovre

"You talk about the size of his penis and his inability to utilize said organ..."
Mr. Lovre

"I've never had a situation where a student I didn't want to touch again...and I don't mean physically..."
Mr. Truax