Female sexuality.

When I say I'm a feminist, I mean it. Feminism isn't just about equal rights, equal pay for equal work. It's about something more fundamental--the right of a woman to be respected, entitled to her own opinions and able to persue her pleasure before anyone else's without being judged or condemned for it. Given that, some media things have pissed me off this last week...


So, I was watching American Idol. Yes, it's American Idol. Yes, I have no reasonable expectation that it would ever be feminist in any way, shape or form. But nevertheless...one of the hopefuls who auditioned before the judges was a sixteen year old girl who was part of a youth group that gave talks about abstinence and why it's best to wait to have sex until you're married. She told this to the judges, who reacted with exclamations about how cute that was, how great she was, and how sweet and nice of a person she was. Naturally, I have some issues with this. One is that the judges of American Idol are pretty clearly not advocates of abstinence until marriage. Paula and Randy have been divorced, and Simon has never been married (but was accused of cheating on a girlfriend). So why do they find it good and cute that this girl is advocating a position they don't agree with?

This is symptomatic of some of the largest problems concerning sexuality, especially female sexuality, in American society. First, it's accepting the premise that sexual pleasure is inherently sinful and wrong unless it's connected with a bunch of other ideals like love, commitment and monogamy--not a premise that I accept in any way. Plenty of people have sex everyday in a casual, non-comitted, non-monogamous way. Are they wrong? Sinful? I don't think so. Which is a worse sin--a woman who meets a guy in a bar, has consensual sex with him in a context where both parties recognize that this is not part of a long-term relationship and uses protection, or a man who marries a woman until death do them part, sleeps with her even though he doesn't want to and represses the fact that he's gay because he believes he has to fit a certain mold? Generally, I tend to adhere to Dan Savage's set of sexual values--if you're adults, it's consensual, and no animals are involved, then you're good.

Secondly, and more importantly, it's condemning female pursuit of pleasure. The evangelical Christian wait-until-marriage doctrine generally tends to reject things like women taking leadership roles, women articulating their own needs and desires, and all that good stuff that healthy sexual relationships are based on. Think about what would have happened on American Idol if a young woman had walked in and told the judges that she volunteered for a nonprofit education group that teaches girls how to be aware of their bodies, their sexual potential, masturbate, and articulate what they want and need sexually. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have gotten the "that's so sweet!" treatment. And for that matter, I can't think of a single instance where I've heard of a nonprofit that does just that, though I've sure heard of plenty teaching abstinence and repression.

So, women need to be respected. And that includes that girl and her opinion that sex before marriage is wrong. That's her belief, and that's fine. But we need equally vocal groups countering that opinion and being vocal about a woman's right to control her own body in every sense. We need groups telling girls that they are allowed to have sexual desires and fantasies--it's not just a guy thing. We need a society that is more tolerant of sexually liberated women--no more Madonna-whore dichotomy. And we need better TV shows than American Idol, but that's a whole seperate issue.

Capitalist activism?

So, we've spent the last two days in Post class debating economics, environmental issues, social change and activism. Which sounds like my cup of tea, except I keep leaving class wanting to kill someone. Because, these, essentially were the debates:

Day 1 : Environmental Justice

Issue: Are there always losers in a capitalist system and can you make progress in areas like this without destroying capitalism?

Sides:

Victor Lindstrom--You can't change things like high pollution areas without getting rid of capitalism, therefore you shouldn't try.

Darren Veit and others--You can't change without getting rid of capitalism, therefore we should get rid of capitalism because it's inherently racist and classist.

Me and nobody else--Capitalism and environmental/social justice aren't incompatible, you just need small amounts of regulation and government action which gives market incentives for positive change.


Day 2: Social Entrepreneurship

Issue: Can you make money without exploiting someone?

Sides

Darren--No, it's completely impossible, especially in the US because it's ingrained in our economic and political system.

Me--Yes--trade isn't a zero-sum game. You having a dollar means someone else has a dollar less, but that's not a bad thing all the time. If I sell you something for a dollar that you're willing to buy for a dollar, everyone wins. I get a dollar richer. You get a dollar of value. And this isn't just theory--Grameen Bank, case in point. It's an incredibly profitable business, and it benefits the poor who get microloans. Even Cranium. Who does that exploit? I'm not going to say it does no harm to anybody, and especially not the environment, but that's different than exploitation.

I'm so sick of feeling like the only activist who doesn't hate capitalism. Yes, it has its problems, but find me a better system. And people like Ms. Engstrom, who get mad about the fact that we're looking for alternative fuel technologies for cars, when we should all just stop driving in the first place..I'm sorry, but we as a society can't function that way. Progress doesn't have to be a bad thing. And while you might be ok with that, most people wouldn't be, and you can't force people to live a certain way.

And it occurs to me now that I'm conflicted about so many things, everyday. I have so many things fighting inside of me, so many different opinions about every single little thing in the world. Let me show you what I mean:

I have a deep respect for our women and men in uniform, and I believe that they are incredibly brave and loyal people. I think war is necessary sometimes. But I hate our military-minded complex, I hate that we fight other cultures first and negotiate later, and I hate the wars those brave soldiers have been involved in in the last few decades.

I believe everyone should have opportunity to advance and that companies should pay people living wages. I know that most people are poor through bad luck or birth, not because of laziness. But I also think companies have a right to hire people at market prices--what people are willing to work for, be it in third world sweatshops or here within our borders. After all, a sweatshop job is better than no job, as horrible as that sounds.

I love the earth and I would rather die than live in a world without mountains, trees, animals and functional ecosystems (and I'm pretty sure that's not an exaggeration for dramatic effect). I believe we all, collectively need to wake up and start reducing our consumption, building sustainable communities and taking care of the earth. But I don't think you can force businesses to be more green. You can't shut down the cattle industry, even if it is responsible for 25% of the world's carbon emissions. You can't make ExxonMobile stop spending billions of dollars to convince people that climate change isn't real. And you can't say that the better information will win, because the people with the money aren't usually the green ones, and it hasn't been working.

How can I change the world when I can't convince my own father to keep our thermostat below 70 degrees? How can I justify asking other people to change their lives when I live in the house I do, wear the clothes I wear, buy the things I buy? How can I, believing so much in the value of competition, the human spirit, the beauty of innovation, how can I tell somebody that their idea, their business, their profit-making method is not valid because the cost is too high to society?

To those of you who ask--how can you spend so much time thinking about these things, my only response is--how can you not? I've never known another way to think, to look at the world. I've thought this way since 2nd grade--my knowledge and opinions have shifted, my core values have remained the same. I believe our lives have no higher mandate, no higher purpose, than to work as hard as we can for as long as we can to make the world a better place, in whatever way we see that. Some people are scientists, giving us a better understanding of the world around us and its possibilities. Some are artists, making us think and adding beauty to a world that can seem bleak. Some of us are businesspeople, coming up with new ideas and finding better ways to make them. And some of us are activists, for the same reason--because that is our calling. Because that is the only way I know to make the world better.

A suggestion for DIY activism

Like many socially conscious and politically active youth, I constantly want new t-shirts. I identify as liberal, feminist, environmentalist, vegetarian, atheist, anti-materialist, anti-Bush and a bunch of other stuff. And every time I see one of those t-shirts with a witty saying on it--Feminism is the radical notion that women are people or America--one nation under surveillance, I feel compelled to get it so my clothing will speak for what I believe.

But I also believe in green living and simple living and using money for useful purposes. And that side of me is strongly against spending $15 for a Save Darfur shirt instead of just donating $15 to the cause. Plus, I can't shell out money every time someone makes a cool shirt--that's impractical and ridiculous. So, caught in this quandary, I've generally avoided that whole line of shirts.

Until today, that is, when I had a rare flash of brilliance. Why not, I thought to myself, make my own shirt? I thought about this for a few minutes and decided it was feasible. I had a few plain color shirts sitting around that I didn't wear because they're boring. I had spray paint left over from Purple & White Day. All I needed was a few stencils, which I found on this awesome site: http://72.29.83.164/~stencil/stencils.htm

So now, I have this lovely shirt:

Yes, it's a bit ghetto and the spray painting isn't perfect. But I'm happy about it. I used some of my extra spray paint, I used an old shirt that I wasn't wearing much, I didn't spend any money, and George Bush even looks recognizable. So I propose this--next time you want to make a statement, grab an old shirt, a can of spray paint, and do it yourself.