Things I learned on scramble leader training

I just got back from Scramble leader training, which consisted of three days of climbing in Smith Rock State Park (which is near Bend, Oregon). There are about 1800 routes in the park, and the rock is absolutely gorgeous basalt and volcanic tuff. So without further delay, I present the list of Things I Learned During Training:

1. Drinking a half gallon of carrot juice over two days will wreak havoc on your digestive system for the next week.

2. When you have a twenty foot runout between bolts, not looking down is a very good idea.

3. It is possible to spend five hours climbing and survive with only a small scrape on your knee, only to trip on the trail on the way back to camp and emerge with your ankle skin completely skinned and dripping blood. If this does happen to you, the best course of action is probably just to laugh at yourself.

4. Having climbing shoes which are not full of holes will enhance your ability to stick to the rock, thus meaning you will be less likely to fall off a really easy climb, smash into the rock and have everyone laugh at you.

5. The best way to make your bathroom awesome is to cover it in signed posters of famous climbers and put cams by the toilet to play with.

6. It may be possible to feed twelve people for a week on $194, but it is not easy. However, it does help if the Whitman College Outdoor Program generously allots you eleven pounds of rice and six pounds of dehydrated beans.

7. Some people think it's a good idea to bring person-sized inflatable orca whales to the crags where they're climbing. These people will be entertaining to watch, but you probably should not let them belay you.

8. When people who are lactose intolerant drink a milkshake, it does not bring all the boys to the yard.

9. Being legally blind, or anywhere close to it robs you of the ability to fall asleep watching a meteor shower. It also means that when you emerge from your sleeping bag shortly after sunrise and try to orient yourself, you will have no idea which people the fuzzy hands waving good morning at you belong to.

10. It's a good thing if the number of scramblers you set out with roughly matches the number you return to camp with at the end of the day. If all else fails, kidnapping a nearby highschooler from the South Eugene Cross Country Team might help you disguise your shortcomings as a leader.