I've been having a bit of an identity crisis lately. Not a Who am I and why am I here? sort of crisis, but a what the hell do I want to do with my life? kind of crisis. I know absolutely that I need to do something environmental, but beyond that, there are so many thing that sound appealing.
Here's a list of a few things I've realized in the last few weeks, which I feel are important. And I don't mean that these are all objective truths, they're just what I've realized I feel about systems and fields of study.
-I will always have the opportunity to pay attention to politics and study political theory, but I won't be able to teach myself biology or chemistry nearly as effectively, due to my lack of a high-tech lab in my basement, among other things.
-I no longer believe that change on the scale we need it is possible through our political system.
-Social sciences study human-created systems, and largely exist because we've screwed up those systems. Politics is a study of how to change the nation or world through our political system. Sociology is almost always a study of failed aspects of society--prisons, public schools, prejudices and systematically oppressive systems. Economics pretends to be objective and on par with real science, but is generally about justifying practices which further harm the earth and economically disadvantaged individuals. Even environmental economics is about fixing our economic system so that we value things other than profit and growth.
-Science is about research and creation. Even if we eliminate oppression and have a perfect government and dismantle industrial capitalism, we will always need scientists.
-When I think about science, it seems like promise and a bright future. In contrast, politics seems like fighting a series of battles, most of which you will lose. Furthermore, any victories you do achieve will be small in scale, temporary in nature and completely insufficient to address the larger problem that motivated you to get involved in the first place.
-I really, really like science. And I'm pretty good at it.
-I don't think you can really separate politics and biology when you're talking about the environmental side of both.
-I can't major in environmental studies-biology or environmental studies-chemistry without skipping study abroad or going crazy taking 3+ science classes with lab per semester.
-I wouldn't like being an environmental lawyer as much as some other things I could do, but I think as an activist, understanding how environmental law works is crucial. I don't know a better place to learn about environmental law than an environmental law school.
-I really really want to do the Wilderness Awareness School Anake Outdoor School program after I graduate from Whitman. It's a 9 month naturalist field course that teaches you tracking and primitive skills and things like that.
-I think green chemistry (designing materials to be environmentally benign and reuseable/recycleable/biodegradeable and nontoxic and not pervasive) is one of the coolest things I've ever heard of.
-If I didn't think our environment was in the middle of imminent catastrophe and I didn't need to make a lot of money at work, my dream job would be running and leading trips for an outdoor program that focuses on late elementary and middle school-aged girls. Self-esteem and social skills via rock climbing and plant identification, bitches!
-I want to travel a lot, especially in developing countries, and I'd like a job where I get to do that.
-I'm really interested in food supply issues, and sustainable agriculture.
-I'm increasingly realizing that it's not just our lifestyle and consumption patterns that are unsustainable. It's our entire civilization and culture.
So there you have it. I'm flirting with a double major in biology-environmental studies and politics-environmental studies, but I don't think even I can pull that off. I'd like to at least minor in biology, since it's only 16 credits. I'd like to take another semester of chemistry, and I'm hoping I can pull some strings to get into advanced intro chemistry, even though my placement test scores weren't quite there. Mostly, I just want to do something lasting, whether I'm remembered for it specifically or not. Maybe it'll be an investigative report about pollution. Maybe I'll synthesize a compound to replace plastic. Maybe I'll do a groundbreaking study of biological relationships in the American West. Maybe I'll get some land set aside as a nature preserve. I just really, really hope I can learn enough in the three years I have left to go out and do something.
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